Planning for the December Dilemma

December can be a dilemma for those of us who live in multi faith families. Christmas is everywhere! Literally, everywhere. And everyone just assumes that everyone else celebrates Christmas. Well, not everyone does. And, some people who do celebrate Christmas also celebrate other holidays as well. 

So, what’s a person to do when Christmas literally shouts from every direction? First, pause and breathe. Yes. Simply take a few moments to slow down and breathe. This simple tip works to cultivate calm and serenity in any stressful moment. You may have to do it over and over, but it does work. 

Now, the best thing you can do when it comes to celebrating multiple holidays is to know what you want. It doesn’t matter if you live in a multi-faith family, or if you are a multi-faith individual. Different faiths have different celebrations and traditions. And those differences come to a head in December. Knowing what you want is the first step. Know what celebrations and traditions are part of your faith and those that are part of your extended family. If they are the same then you don’t really have to worry about a dilemma (except for explaining to your children why you are seemingly the only ones who don’t celebrate Christmas- if you don’t). If your traditions differ from those of your family, things tend to get a little sticky. But, it doesn’t have to be. When you know what the traditions of both groups are you can formulate a plan. And that plan is key. 

Here is what my answer to the December dilemma looks like. My husband and I are both Jewish, so Chanukah plays a central role in our household. We light at least one menorah each night of the 8 nights- usually we have two. We eat latkes and jelly donuts and tons of fried foods over the 8 days of Chanukah. We play with dreidels and eat our little chocolate coin winnings. We were both raised Christian so we have a relationship to Christmas. While I don’t celebrate Christmas anymore, my family and friends do. I will celebrate with them at parties and gatherings. I enjoy their trees and caroling. My husband and I both enjoy looking at all the Christmas lights around town. They are so pretty. I personally also celebrate Yule. My favorite aspect of this is creating my Yule altar. I craft a “yule log” with candles and wood. I never leave the candles burning near the log unattended, though! Poinsettias, greenery, and nuts are a gorgeous addition to my altar. I don’t always create a Yule altar, but the times when I do seem just a little more special. 

Having a plan is key to getting through December no matter what celebrations you choose to keep. Honoring yourself within your family is important. Knowing what is important to you and why will help you to develop holiday traditions that are most meaningful for you. 

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